Twenty-seven women described moments of recognizing internalized misogyny when they noticed automatic judgments of other women’s appearance, sexuality, or competence. Many traced those beliefs to early conditioning by family, peers, or cultural norms that prioritized male approval and competitive femininity. Specific behaviors included giving dirty looks, policing body hair, avoiding admiring women, and equating attractiveness with worth. Recognition often arose through prompts, relationships, or introspection and led to conscious changes such as embracing bodily autonomy, actively admiring women, rejecting petty rivalry, and committing to kinder treatment of other women.
We all like to think we know what we stand for, but sometimes, internalized misogyny can sneak up on us in ways we never expect. Recently, I asked women of the BuzzFeed Community to share the moment they realized they were holding onto beliefs or judgments that didn't align with their values, and that moment of realization when internalized misogyny revealed itself. Their responses were candid, insightful, and sometimes uncomfortable, and that's exactly what makes them so important.
"I used to give dirty looks to women who were better looking than I was, until I realized the reason I was doing so was because they most likely could get more men than I could, which is a dumb reason to dislike someone! People cannot help what they look like. I am so over that. I do not judge people on their looks, and I try to be nice to others." - shabooshabah
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