The article discusses the backlash against advice given to a woman, referred to as 'No More Babies', whose husband wants her to undergo a tubal ligation after having five children. Readers express strong opinions, arguing that vasectomies are less invasive and should be the husband's choice. They criticize approaches suggesting withholding sex as a means of conflict resolution, stating it can harm the relationship, while emphasizing the importance of communication and mutual decision-making in managing family planning.
If the burden on the body of a vasectomy and a tubal ligation were comparable, I think your advice would be (almost) fair. However, the reality is that vasectomies are less invasive, require less recovery time and are more easily reversed than a tubal ligation. For that husband to ask his wife to go through a more complicated, more painful and more permanent procedure after she has already put her body through five pregnancies is incredibly selfish.
Withholding sex to get what you want is never good for a relationship; it turns a shared intimate, emotional experience and expression of love into a transaction. I agree that this couple has a serious problem that needs to be worked out together.
Recommending no sex until the husband changes his mind without questions about condoms or other birth control? Sure, punt them on their way to divorce.
Sorry, Harriette, but I'm going to have to totally disagree with the advice that you gave No More Babies. You suggested that she stand her ground and declare no more sex until he got a vasectomy.
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