What are men searching for (and running from) when they go on a retreat?

"Places where no one is aware if they are CEOs, freelancers or rich heirs; if they're family men, uncompromising bachelors or divorcees, hetero, gay or bisexual? It would appear, according to several folks who are knowledgeable on the subject, that they are running from their environment, from the roles they have been assigned, and from the people who remind them of all of the above."

"They are looking for a safe place where there are no expectations of them, where they don't have to maintain a predetermined attitude and where they can let their guard down, says Elisa Errea, founder of The Human Studio and The Wine Studio, who organizes retreats and helps many men to draw their stress maps, which serve as X-rays of their weaknesses."

"Traditional masculinity as defined by stoicism, solvency, self-confidence and the glorification of always being busy is being realigned under the lens of mental health, empathy and self-care. This kind of messaging can awkwardly co-exist on sites like TikTok with toxic hyper-masculinities embodied by the likes of Andrew Tate and the crypto bros, who dare each other to up their burpees count. In contrast, these friendly networks encourage men to ask for help, to take care of themselves and accept their emotional vulnerability."

Men attend anonymous retreats to escape assigned roles, environments, and people who remind them of those roles, seeking spaces without expectations where they can lower their guard. Elisa Errea organizes retreats and helps men draw stress maps that reveal weaknesses. Traditional masculinity defined by stoicism and constant busyness is being realigned toward mental health, empathy, and self-care. Wellness messaging coexists with toxic hyper-masculinities on platforms like TikTok. Hipster barbershops in London and New York have become wellness spaces offering grooming plus personal growth talks and retreats. Up to 95% of men showed interest in their emotional state last year, and wellness is now a status symbol among successful men.

Read at english.elpais.com