"For each of us, our most valuable and enduring inheritance is bestowed long before an estate is probated. It isn't found in rings and things but passed on through word and deed. It shows up as daily wisdom, our penchant for forgiveness, and the grit to pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off when we fall. These gifts, unlike the jewelry, are not in the will."
"In recent years, my friends have begun to lose their parents at an age closer to current life expectancy. In the aftermath, I watch as estates are settled and decisions are made: Who gets the good silver, grandma's earrings, dad's favorite books, and the Christmas ornaments? But these tangible objects, precious as they are, represent only the smallest part of our inheritance."
"This thought crystallized for me as I signed off on the final edits of my second book, Buoyant: The Art and Science of a Resilient Life, to be published next year. It struck me that this practical guide to boosting resilience seemed to spring fully formed because of the deep imprinting of my parents, from their example and their unspoken lessons on how to navigate both life's big troubles and daily ups and downs."
People receive both tangible items and intangible legacies from their parents. Tangible items include heirlooms such as China teacups, wedding rings, and military medals. Many families make decisions about distributing silver, jewelry, books, and ornaments when estates are settled. More significant are the unspoken life lessons inherited through word and deed: daily wisdom, forgiveness, curiosity, grit, and approaches to resilience. These behavioral imprints shape responses to adversity and everyday living and are not captured in wills. Individuals can choose which inherited beliefs and habits to keep and which wounds or limiting beliefs to release.
Read at Psychology Today
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