"ICE wants YOU to betray your fellow-HUMANS. Join ICE today and receive UP TO a $50,000 signing bonus, which YOU can spend on anything YOU want-like a LAWYER when you're eventually TRIED at THE HAGUE. ICE wants YOU to forget that YOU and nearly everyone YOU have ever KNOWN are descended from IMMIGRANTS. We also want YOU to ignore the FACT that the FIRST LADY worked in the U.S. before ever getting a WORK VISA."
"ICE wants YOU to put your LEFT foot in then put your LEFT foot out then DO the hokeypokey and TURN IN your brother-in-law whom YOU didn't realize THIS would AFFECT. ICE wants YOU to put on a MASK to do your JOB. But NOT like during COVID when YOU didn't WANT to wear a MASK. This time, it's NOT for protecting OTHERS from HARM-it's for protecting your IDENTITY while YOU harm OTHERS."
"ICE feels like YOU might be INTO that sort of THING. Become an ICE agent TODAY and get PAID to OBEY like a GOOD little BOY or GIRL but CONSIDERING who signs UP for this kind of thing most likely BOY. ICE wants YOU to enter SCHOOLS and HOSPITALS. YOU will be JUST like THE ROCK or some OTHER celebrity who visits CHILDREN and the SICK, except YOU will be TAKING them with YOU."
ICE offers substantial financial incentives including signing bonuses, student loan repayment, and premium pay to recruit agents. Recruitment language frames migration as an invasion and urges agents to remove criminals and predators from America. The rhetoric encourages betrayal of fellow humans, unquestioning obedience to orders, secrecy through identity protection, and enforcement in sensitive settings like schools and hospitals. The messaging satirically highlights hypocrisy by noting immigrant roots of many Americans, exemptions for elites, and avoidance of public transit. The tone mixes mockery and condemnation of a system that rewards compliance and jeopardizes communities.
Read at The New Yorker
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