"Spare a thought for the losers...consider those who desired high office...Take Suella Braverman and Esther McVey. Gutted to have been overlooked."
"Now to one of the lucky ones. Robert Jenrick. No one could possibly doubt Honest Bob's right to be in the shadow cabinet. Few have achieved as little as him in the last 10 years."
"So you can only suppose Kemi's real objective in appointing her team has been to gaslight the country while having a laugh."
"His only achievements that anyone can remember are to have removed a mural and to have done a favour for a one-time pornographer."
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