The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Season-Premiere Recap: Two Kisses, That's It

"Brand-health alarms should have gone off when the first words of this season were spoken by Nick Viall and cranked even louder the first (or even the fourth) time Jordan used the word "emasculating." Maybe if all MomTok members past and present united, they could have prevented the premiere's main character from becoming the Cialis-induced, blackout-produced semen found in some barely famous bro's underpants."

"But MomTok has been running on a skeleton crew stretched to their limits, attending influencer events and feeding the algorithm. So here we are. But I have faith the ladies will turn it around as long as they don't appoint Taylor's mom as interim CMO. Faith is very important to the MomTok brand. It is also important to me, because I believe in the power and resiliency of Emmy-nominated reality-television franchises the same way people from Wisconsin believe in the Green Bay Packers."

"Dakota swings by to pick up Ever because he'll be watching him while Taylor attends a two-week therapy retreat. Hoping we get more details on this because I'm dying to know the amenities and practices on the menu. "Therapy retreat" could mean "repeatedly doing ayahuasca in the Peruvian Amazon," or "checking into an inpatient drug and alcohol rehab," or "sitting silently in a meditation center.""

MomTok faces acute brand-health concerns as core values and female empowerment appear compromised by provocative portrayals and language. Early dialogue from Nick Viall and repeated use of the word emasculating escalate audience alarm and frame a male lead in grotesque, sexualized terms. The community operates on a stretched skeleton crew focused on influencer events and algorithmic engagement, creating organizational strain. Confidence remains that contributors can restore brand strength if poor leadership decisions, such as appointing Taylor's mom as interim CMO, are avoided. The season opens in Provo with a sexier intro and Taylor departing for a two-week therapy retreat while Dakota cares for Ever. The term therapy retreat is ambiguous, spanning ayahuasca trips, inpatient rehab, meditation centers, or trauma-informed yoga and talk therapy, with the latter most likely; the narrative offers relief that Taylor and Dakota likely do not reunite.

Read at Vulture