"My partner, an immigrant from Brazil, shows love through acts of service. At first, I was confused. I had been raised to see romantic love, partner love, as centered on acts of adoration, big and intense actions designed to make me, the beloved, feel exceptional. My partner, who is romantic but not in that way, finds this focus on exceptional love confusing."
"Some of the reporting is laced with the tinsel of adoration: Minneapolis is exceptional! Better than anyone! No one else is like this!!! I want to reach out and grab the authors by the pen and say, Hey, that isn't what this is. Please don't exceptionalize us. This is a steadiness of love as caring for your neighbor, love as meeting the material needs of someone nearby."
Practical caregiving functions as a primary language of love among partners and neighbors, especially within immigrant communities that learned love as duty and survival. Many people express romantic and communal bonds through acts of service rather than grand gestures. Mutual aid and collective care on the streets operate as steady, material support aimed at meeting immediate needs. Observing or praising the phenomenon as exceptional risks romanticizing a routine practice of neighborliness. Relearning to spend time together and meet each other's needs reinforces reciprocity, resilience, and everyday love rooted in shared labor and care.
Read at Truthout
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