"Though I may be leaving this job, I will not be ending my mission. As I told my plastic surgeon, the work is never done. But I gave my all to the DHS, and I have no regrets. Because, like they say, you miss 100 percent of the dogs you don't shoot."
"I took this job with the goal of securing our border, deporting thousands of illegals, and spending $200 million on ads of me riding a horse. And I think I really nailed it. And by it, I mean my married coworker in a big, beautiful flying bedroom 30,000 feet over Minneapolis."
"I just want to make it clear that I didn't get fired. I self-deported!"
Saturday Night Live's cold open featured cast member Ashley Padilla portraying Kristi Noem at a faux press conference following her ouster as head of the Department of Homeland Security. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, played by Colin Jost, introduced Noem as being "reassigned under the bus" after a year of work. The sketch delivered multiple satirical jabs at Noem, including references to her confession about shooting her dog, her alleged affair with adviser Corey Lewandowski, and her spending on promotional horse-riding advertisements. Padilla's Noem character made self-deprecating jokes about her appearance and claimed she "self-deported" rather than being fired, while acknowledging her various departmental initiatives.
#saturday-night-live #kristi-noem #department-of-homeland-security #political-satire #celebrity-roast
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