"Your son is trying to treat an emotional quandary as if it's a ledger that needs balancing. Your generosity to his siblings in times of need has nothing to do with him. But, as siblings are wont to do, it's not surprising that he's comparing their lives to his and asking for fairness. This isn't the same as a parent bringing two young children home a tasty treat from a business trip and neglecting a third."
"He's not owed this money. (And it's not because he can afford to do without it. It's because it's not his money. It's yours!) What is unfair, and shortsighted, is his request that you give him a sum of money large enough to potentially destabilize your lives should your health decline or you need more extensive care as you age. This stability needs to be the priority."
A couple in their late 70s weighs whether to give their unmarried adult son more than $20,000 to equal earlier, larger gifts to two other children. The parents previously helped two children keep homes during divorces and contributed to grandchildren's college funds. The unmarried son compares his situation to his siblings', asking for parity, but he has stable housing, employment, and no dependents. The parents are concerned that such a gift could jeopardize their financial security and ability to pay for future health care. Financial stability and planning for aging-related needs should take precedence over equalizing gifts to adult children.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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