You don't need dozens of friends: the research on how many close connections actually matter - Silicon Canals
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You don't need dozens of friends: the research on how many close connections actually matter - Silicon Canals
"Ever wonder why you're exhausted trying to maintain relationships with everyone from your high school lab partner to that person you met at a conference three years ago? Here's something that might surprise you: anthropologist Robin Dunbar's research suggests our brains can only handle about 150 social connections, and of those, only five make up our innermost circle. That's right, five."
"I spent most of my twenties collecting friends like they were limited edition sneakers. Every networking event, every new job, every random encounter at a coffee shop seemed like an opportunity to expand my social circle. By thirty, I had hundreds of "friends" across social media, dozens of group chats, and a calendar packed with obligations to people I barely knew. I was socially rich but emotionally bankrupt."
"The Dunbar number gets thrown around a lot, but most people miss the crucial detail. Yes, we can maintain about 150 stable social relationships, but Dunbar's research goes deeper. He found that our social circles naturally organize into layers. The innermost layer, our support clique, typically contains just five people. These are the ones you'd call in a crisis at 2 AM."
Human social capacity centers on the Dunbar number of roughly 150 stable relationships organized into concentric layers. The innermost layer, the support clique, typically contains about five people who provide immediate crisis support. The next layer of roughly 15 comprises close friends for intimate gatherings. Beyond that sits a 50-person meaningful contact group and a 150-person stable network. Accumulating many acquaintances can create social obligations without deep emotional return, causing emotional depletion. Research indicates having only a few close friends is sufficient for thriving and well-being.
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