"Tomás had lived in the city for about 20 years, but he grew up in Venezuela, where family life could be intense, political opinions were spoken openly, and knowing when to speak and when to stay quiet was often a matter of survival rather than preference. Daniela grew up in a very different family. Her parents talked constantly-about politics, values, and what they believed was happening in the world."
"When Daniela's parents visited, those conversations filled the apartment. They came up at dinner, during bath time, and while the kids were playing on the floor. Daniela noticed Tomás growing quieter as the days went on. He focused on practical things-cleaning up, helping with homework, getting the kids to bed-while the conversations carried on around him. Although she noticed it, Daniela didn't know what to do with it."
Daniela and Tomás are married parents living in New York with two young children. They come from different family cultures: Tomás grew up in Venezuela where speaking or staying silent was tied to survival, while Daniela's parents repeatedly stated political positions as persuasive. During a visit, Daniela's parents filled the apartment with political conversations that made Tomás withdraw and attend to practical tasks. Daniela noticed his growing quietness but initially did not act. After the visit, Tomás expressed feeling worn down and spoke carefully about his fatigue. They had identified and named the problem but had not yet found a way to stop it recurring.
Read at Psychology Today
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