"1. They "love-bomb." It's a lot early on. "You're the only one who understands." "I'm the only one who really cares about you." "I never met anyone like you before." It's a whirlwind of attention and validation: constant calls, texts, letters, messages about how they love you-too much, too soon. 2. They will find ways to separate you from your friends and loved ones. 3. They don't respect your boundaries."
"4. Every one of their exes is "crazy," and they are surrounded by jerks. Their bad luck with other people seems uncanny. 5. They get angry and offended when confronted about their own issues and gaslight you into saying sorry or believing that it is you who has to do better in the end. 6. They make subtle criticisms of your clothes, body, and behavior so you'll be worn down and have low self-esteem because it makes you more compliant."
Most people learn the red flags of potentially abusive partners from books, media, friends, and past experiences. Common early signs include love-bombing, isolation from friends and family, boundary violations, denigrating ex-partners, anger and gaslighting when confronted, subtle criticisms that erode self-esteem, and hiding or excusing harmful behavior. Despite recognizing these indicators intellectually, many people deny, minimize, rationalize, or shift blame to avoid confronting the reality. Recognizing how one distorts or excuses these signs can break patterns of avoidance and reduce risk, and clearer awareness of these dynamics can be lifesaving.
Read at Psychology Today
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