"Say you are interested in someone-like quite interested. How long should you wait to have sex with that person? Three months? Three weeks? Three dates? Three minutes? It's a common question because you may be worried about various risks-risks to your reputation, risks of emotional entanglements, and risks of sexually transmitted infections. But at the same time, it is sex. And sex can be kind of fun, especially when there's nothing great to watch on Netflix, and you are out of cheese."
"The TV series "Sex and the City" did advance the so-called "three-date rule," which advises women to wait until-you guessed it-the third date to become intimate. At the same time, guys have been telling each other on social media to abandon ship if a woman hasn't slept with you after three dates. The risk is that you will just be strung along and even, gasp, friend-zoned if you haven't already sliced the fruitcake, or whatever euphemism you use for having sex by then."
"That's because people and situations can be very different. Plus, it can be hard to define what specifically constitutes a date. Would getting help to unclog a toilet and then treating that person to a coffee constitute a date? And will going for a run together in the morning and then later eating dinner be one or two dates? Rather than relying simply on some kind of count,"
Deciding when to have sex involves trade-offs among reputation, emotional attachment, and sexual-health risks. Popular heuristics like the three-date rule are culturally reinforced but arbitrary because people and situations vary. Defining what counts as a date can be ambiguous, and rigid counting can mislead. Having sex too early can increase the chance of becoming emotionally attached to an unsuitable partner or appearing overly available. Waiting too long can lead to the other person losing interest or relegating the relationship to friendship. Practical decision-making should weigh relational dynamics, mutual expectations, and health precautions rather than a fixed timeline.
Read at Psychology Today
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