"Something unpleasant happened to you. Since you don't want another bad thing on top of it, you must decide which is better: leaving the relationship or holding onto it. Your last question was leading enough to make me think that you do want to let this slide, giving Brian a temporary hetero sex pass and chalking it up to his intoxication. So that's probably what you should do."
"If your relationship is otherwise solid, I would have even recommended letting sober sex with a dude slide. Cheating might cause major drama. It might necessitate very severe boundary drawing and/or an ultimatum. It might send you both to couples counseling. But an incidence of infidelity does not mean your relationship is built on lies or that your partner is altogether untrustworthy."
Two men in a marriage attended a party where one partner became heavily intoxicated and later confessed to having sex with a woman. The sober partner faces a choice between leaving or staying and must weigh consequences. Granting a temporary hetero sex pass and attributing the act to intoxication is presented as a viable option if the relationship is otherwise solid. Infidelity can cause major drama, necessitate strict boundaries, ultimatums, or couples counseling, but a single incident does not automatically indicate an untrustworthy partner. Repair requires the unfaithful partner to accept responsibility, show willingness to learn, and avoid repeating the behavior.
Read at Slate Magazine
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