"In my years of researching destructive cults and helping individuals break free from manipulative environments, I've seen time and again how undue influence can occur in romantic relationships and families just as powerfully as it does in prominent, well known cults. In a relational context, undue influence refers to any situation in which one individual exerts power over another in a way that severely compromises that person's ability to make free choices."
"It is essential to note that every relationship involves a degree of influence. It is expected that the influence is positive in most cases. Consider a positive coach motivating an athlete to do their best or a friend giving you sound advice at a difficult time. We learn from one another, share resources, and adapt our behaviors based on the influence of trusted individuals."
Undue influence in relationships occurs when one person exerts power that severely compromises another's ability to make free choices, creating a constructed power imbalance that distorts identity, critical thinking, agency, and emotional autonomy. Tactics include isolation, gaslighting, conditional affection tied to obedience, and early boundary crossing that predicts identity loss. Healthy influence affirms individuality, respects refusals, and supports autonomous decision-making. Unhealthy control makes people act to disproportionately benefit the influencer and can be hard to detect because it can feel like acting of one's own accord. Recognizing boundary violations and conditional love is key to identifying destructive influence.
Read at Psychology Today
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