What Puts a Woman in the Mood?

"The most important sex organ in the body, for women, is not below the waist, but rather above the shoulders. That powerful sex organ is the mind. The mind tells the rest of the body I am available for sex, or conversely, I am not available. The mind is the gatekeeper for physical intimacy."

"We tend to think of foreplay as something that happens in the bedroom, just before sex, as a kind of warmup exercise to prepare the mind and body for what's to come, like stretching before a run. But foreplay is actually something that happens all day, from the breakfast table to the final toothbrushing."

"Men often view foreplay as a physical activity they do for their partner right before intercourse, to get her aroused mentally and physically and to lubricate the process. This is certainly a part of foreplay, but just a small part. The problem so many women describe is that their male partners don't make the link between the way they listen to their partner, the quality of their attention."

Sexual desire and intimacy extend far beyond the bedroom. The mind functions as the most important sex organ, particularly for women, determining availability and receptiveness to physical intimacy. Emotional connection with a partner dramatically increases sexual desire. Foreplay occurs throughout the entire day through everyday interactions, small touches, and meaningful glances, not just during pre-intercourse activities. Many men misunderstand foreplay as solely a physical warmup before sex, missing the crucial connection between emotional attentiveness, quality listening, and their partner's sexual responsiveness. The quality of daily emotional engagement and attention directly influences physical intimacy.

Read at Psychology Today