"It was a mutual decision when my ex and I separated. We parted ways amicably and the actual divorce process was smooth. We have been able to stay friends. It was what we both thought was best and what we both wanted. I'm telling you this because every single situation is different. There wasn't a lot of fighting. The relationship wasn't toxic. We still respected each other, and it wasn't as though I couldn't stand the sight of him."
"And yet, I was under the illusion that dating would be easy. I was going to meet the most amazing man who just happened to look like Brad Pitt would sweep me off my feet. And you know what's funnier? I thought there'd be plenty of them to choose from. I was excited to be on my own and didn't think it would be that hard because I'm a strong, independent woman."
"But rolling over after and heading to the bathroom to clean off your unmanicured lady parts, or having a quickie unshowered, or telling your man to go slow because you ate a questionable burrito at lunch is so much better than doing the dance with a man when you're not sure where things are going. Or feeling like you have to hide your stretch marks and cellulite."
The separation was mutual and amicable, and the divorce process was smooth. The individuals remained friends and chose the split together. Expectations about post-divorce dating were idealized, imagining effortless attraction and many options. The transition brought unexpected emotional challenges and anxiety. Early dating produced body-image concerns, performance worries, and awkwardness that contrasted with the comfort of long-term sexual familiarity. Familiar routines and acceptance in marriage felt easier than anxious initial encounters. Preparation for the emotional aftermath of leaving a marriage would have helped manage dating-related stress and self-consciousness. The experience reframes assumptions about independence, intimacy, and the complexity of starting over.
Read at Scary Mommy
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