"Emotional labor is the energy and effort you put into maintaining a relationship. When you carry most of the emotional labor in a relationship, it can start to feel normal. You may find yourself doing the following: You smooth things over. You apologize to keep the peace. You track moods, schedules, and tension. You try to anticipate your partner's needs. You initiate physical affection. You tend to your partner's needs before your own."
"You are changing behavior that no longer serves you, which changes the dynamic of your relationship. Why Stepping Back Feels So Hard If you have been doing the emotional labor of your relationship, stepping back can feel risky. You may feel uncomfortable, sad, or angry. It can feel like you are letting something fail. You may worry that without your emotional labor: "Things will fall apart." "They'll think I don't care." "They'll get angry with me.""
Emotional labor is the energy and effort invested in maintaining a relationship, often taking forms like smoothing conflicts, apologizing to keep peace, tracking moods, anticipating needs, initiating affection, and prioritizing a partner's needs. When one person carries most emotional labor, the pattern can feel normal. Stepping back changes those behaviors and can cause discomfort, anxiety, or fear that things will fail. Stepping back is not punishment or stonewalling; it means stopping overfunctioning by not repeatedly reminding, repairing every conflict, managing another's emotions, or over-explaining. Healthy relationships consist of mutual, shared effort and responsibility.
Read at Psychology Today
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