Want to Manage Conflict More Effectively?

"I went digging into the origins of H.A.L.T., and I was surprised to find that it comes from Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). AA frames H.A.L.T. as a tool for raising self-awareness and taking care of basic needs before they become unmanageable. For example, dealing with anger or loneliness in healthy ways helps to reduce the risk of relapse. How does it apply to relationships? The relational context is not so different."

"While the common wisdom is to address an issue right in the moment, H.A.L.T. gives you permission to wait until you are in a better frame of mind to handle the conflict thoughtfully. It's OK to call a time-out until you have had something to eat. It's OK to get a good night's sleep before you hash out a complicated problem."

H.A.L.T. stands for hungry, angry, lonely, and tired and signals when to avoid difficult conversations. The technique originated in Alcoholics Anonymous as a tool for raising self-awareness and preventing relapse by addressing basic needs before they become unmanageable. Mandated seminars for divorcing parents used H.A.L.T. to encourage minimizing conflict with ex-partners to support children's coping. Healthy conflict management requires substantial cognitive resources, and hunger, anger, loneliness, or fatigue diminish those resources and increase the likelihood of blow-ups. H.A.L.T. offers permission to pause until one is nourished, rested, and emotionally regulated. Practical steps include calling a time-out, eating, and getting adequate sleep before tackling complex problems.

Read at Psychology Today