"Stopping disagreeing isn't a sign of peace, it points to emotional withdrawal, explains Simone Bose, a relationship therapist at Relate. It happens, says Bose, because couples are likely protecting themselves from feeling disappointed or from conflict itself, but are becoming emotionally numb. Clinical psychologist and Couples Therapy star Dr Orna Guralnik agrees, noting that some people don't argue because they've come to a state of acceptance of who each other are, but some don't argue because they've given up."
"Couples who stop arguing even when they have major disagreements are on a collision course towards either an unhappy marriage or a divorce. This is because unresolved issues get swept under the rug and eventually come out in some other way. In terms of a remedy, Bose says many people experience conflict as dangerous or overwhelming because of early family experiences, so they learn that staying quiet feels safer."
A halt in arguing can indicate emotional withdrawal rather than harmony. Couples may avoid disagreement to shield themselves from disappointment or overwhelming conflict, producing emotional numbness. Some partners stop arguing from acceptance, while others stop because they have given up, creating a cold, detached resignation. When major disagreements are ignored, unresolved issues are swept under the rug and later resurface, increasing risk of unhappy marriages or divorce. Many people learn that staying quiet feels safer due to early family experiences. The initial step toward repair is to lean into discomfort, name the emotional distance, and invite re-engagement.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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