This is how we do it: The dark room is a judgment-free place, where we can live out fantasies together'

"At some point, one of us will turn to the other and say, Shall we explore? and we'll find the dark room: an almost pitch-black maze of little booths and benches where strangers touch, kiss and have sex. Attraction works differently inside the dark room and rejection can be blunt. People can gently push you away, saying, No, I don't want you to be part of this, which reminds you how vulnerable sex can be."

"We can wander, explore, flirt, touch, but it has to feel like we're doing it together. We always have hot sex after nights like these, taking the sexual energy home with us That's our only rule: keeping the connection and being aware of where the other is. I'd feel hurt if Callum drifted away and explored things that we haven't. Some acts would feel too intimate, such as intensely making out with one person for too long."

"The sex is freer and more explorative; we might film bits of it, do it in front of the mirror or be more verbal about our fantasies. We've been together for four years, and living together for two. Our sex drives match, though our rhythms are different: Callum is a morning person; I prefer evenings when I feel awake and don't have morning breath."

Two partners attend sex-positive queer parties and explore the dark room together while maintaining connection through subtle signals and glances. They agree not to disappear and rely on nonverbal communication to ensure both feel included and safe. Rejection in the dark room can be blunt, reinforcing vulnerability and the need for clear boundaries. After such nights they reconnect with intimate, freer sex at home, often experimenting more openly and sometimes recording or performing in front of a mirror. They share routines, have matched sex drives but different daily rhythms, and prioritize tenderness and expressiveness.

Read at www.theguardian.com