There's Only One Way I Can Keep Up With My Girlfriend's Lifestyle. My Friend Says It's Making Me "Powerless."

"My girlfriend has a fancy job, and I have a notoriously underpaid job. Because of how we met, it was very clear to us both immediately that I had no money and she had lots of it. She said "my treat" the first time she asked me out, and again on all of our early dates, until she eventually said, "It's always my treat, OK?" I said, "Not always," and I do buy us coffees or groceries to make dinner, or whatever, things I can afford to do. Her generosity has basically meant we can date, because I could never keep up with her lifestyle if I had to pay for almost anything we do together. I still live at my economic level, except for when I'm with her and she pays for everything."

"She wants to give me a credit card that connects to her account for when we are doing stuff together-so I could buy fancy groceries if I'm going to cook us dinner, for example, or open a tab if I get to the bar early, etc."

"My friend thinks it's essential that I turn down the card and also that I try to put a limit on how much I let my girlfriend spend on me "to try to get back some of my power." Honestly, what she is saying doesn't really make sense to me, but I wanted to check to see if I'm missing something here. Is it bad that I'm letting my girlfriend subsidize our relationship like this? Is her giving me this card a really bad idea?"

"Your friend is being a bit dramatic about taking back your "power," but she's not entirely wrong about the card. Here's why: It's been three months. That's extremely early in a"

One partner earns significantly more while the other has a notoriously underpaid job; the wealthier partner consistently covered dates and expenses early on. The less-paid partner contributes small, affordable items like coffee or groceries but otherwise lives at their own economic level. The wealthier partner proposed giving a credit card linked to her account for shared expenses like groceries or opening a bar tab. A friend warned this risks entering "kept woman" territory and urged turning down the card to "get back some of my power." The columnist notes the relationship is only three months old and advises caution.

Read at Slate Magazine