"The desire to help may never be stronger than when a patient faces the upheaval of divorce. A client's anxiety may naturally be high as they face so much change: When will they see their children? Will they have to sell or leave their home? Will they have enough money? Will they be happier or lonelier? Ideally, therapy will help the patient find their way to the most successful outcome."
"I've been surprised over the years at how frequently clients tell me that their therapist encouraged them to slowly siphon off cash and hide it in their sock drawer, to stash their best jewelry with their sister, or to open secret bank accounts. I know the motivation for this advice is protection of the patient, but a patient who has been hiding money might look dishonest and sneaky when the behavior comes to light."
"No-No Number 2: Counseling your Patient to Ice Out Their Co-Parent Many patients facing divorce have work to do on setting appropriate boundaries with their co-parent, and this is important work in therapy. When counseling a client with a custody case, remember that the law is entirely focused on the best interests of the child, and courts want to see parents generously co- parenting."
Divorcing patients often experience high anxiety about child access, housing, finances, and future happiness. Therapists must avoid advising clients to hide cash, jewelry, or open secret accounts except when immediate safety requires accessible funds for escape. Financial disclosure begins the divorce process, and concealed assets can lead to perjury charges, lost credibility, and legal exposure. Therapy should focus on establishing appropriate boundaries with co-parents rather than cutting them off. Custody decisions prioritize the child's best interests, and courts favor parents who demonstrate generous co-parenting. Most of the time, concealment strategies harm rather than help the client's legal and relational outcomes.
Read at Psychology Today
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