"When was the last time you asked yourself: Why am I in this relationship?Is it because you genuinely want to be with this person, or because what they offer feels safe, stable, or hard to walk away from? When those reasons blur, and when you stay just because you always have, anger builds quietly inside. Irritations flare for no reason. Conflicts appear out of nowhere. And, slowly, you feel lost in your own relationship without knowing why."
"At first, Luna admired it. Emotional control seemed mature. But emotions, especially anger, do not disappear just because we do not express them. Trying to hold anger in can make it build up over time and turn into stronger, more harmful feelings (Quartana & Burns, 2007). Rob felt hurt, jealous, and threatened, but he learned early in his life that showing anger could mean rejection, shame, or loss."
Some people remain in relationships for safety, stability, or habit rather than genuine desire. That blurring of motives produces quiet anger, sudden irritations, unexpected conflicts, and a growing sense of being lost. Luna and Rob were together but repeatedly broke up, leaving conversations unresolved and intimacy unformed. Rob suppressed anger because emotional control felt mature and because early experience taught him that expressing anger risked rejection or shame. Suppressed anger accumulated into hurt, jealousy, and a private sense of justice. He modified behavior to gain leverage and to fit Luna’s expectations, turning intimacy into strategy, causing exhaustion and confusion.
Read at Psychology Today
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