"And unlike any other chore or fitness enterprise, you conceive it more as self-indulgence than self-improvement, and as such, even if you're already in a relationship, it's hard to find that chin-out determination to get it done. Yet sex is an appetite like any other, a necessity like any other, a nourishment like any other. If you let it go dormant the effect on your relationship might be as if one or both of you are on a permanent diet and also lonely."
"To take this in ascending order of hurdles; if you're a childless couple, the main block is going to be each other not being in the same mood at the same time, not being in the house at the same time. This is true for your entire relationship, not just sex; I once interviewed a fertility doctor, who described working with a couple, trying to find an appointment time for when one was ovulating and both were in the country."
Scheduling sex can make it feel like a chore, and people often view sexual activity as self-indulgence rather than self-improvement, making deliberate effort difficult even within relationships. Sex functions as an appetite, necessity, and nourishment; allowing sexual desire to lie dormant can create prolonged loneliness or emotional restriction for one or both partners. Sexual activity is fundamentally a two-person responsibility requiring mutual attunement and cannot be decided unilaterally. Practical obstacles include mismatched moods and availability, especially for childless couples or when timing must align with biological cycles. Maintaining intimacy through tactile contact and active interest during the day helps, while neglect and unequal emotional workload can derail desire.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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