The Science of Flourishing Love

"Here are six evidence-based actions we can take to strengthen our relationship-not just on Valentine's Day, but every day: Flourishing marriages aren't defined by the absence of conflict, but rather by the presence of positivity- expressed through warmth, affection, and appreciation. An abundance of research shows that positivity helps couples broaden how they think and communicate. Positivity also acts as a buffer against stress and helps couples bounce back from adversity."

"We must intentionally practice positivity rather than leaving positive emotions to chance. Early in a relationship, positive emotions arise naturally and abundantly. Over time, however, it's normal for them to diminish. We can't expect them to occur at the same frequency and intensity as they did in the beginning. Instead, leading emotion researcher Barbara Fredrickson's work suggests that we "prioritize positivity" by choosing activities that naturally evoke those emotions in both ourselves and our partner-and by intentionally scheduling them into our day."

Strong, long-term relationships significantly improve health and longevity and contribute to a flourishing life. Many partnerships stagnate into "roommate syndrome," marked by reduced physical and emotional intimacy and a cohabitant-like dynamic. Occasional gestures cannot transform a mediocre relationship into a thriving one. Flourishing relationships feature positivity—warmth, affection, and appreciation—that broadens thought, improves communication, buffers stress, and aids recovery from adversity. Positive emotions decline over time and therefore require intentional practice. Prioritizing positivity involves choosing and scheduling activities that evoke warmth and appreciation for both partners to sustain intimacy and resilience.

Read at Psychology Today