Healthy friendships do not require a constant 50/50 balance, because needs and contributions change over time. A meaningful difference exists between temporary imbalance and structural nonreciprocity. Nonreciprocity occurs when the same person repeatedly reaches out first, listens, and shows up, while the other person is often busy, going through something, or taking support without returning it. Frustration can arise even when the friend is generally nice and well-liked. Three signs include zero-sum interactions where support is offered only when convenient, emotional labor that is not returned, and a pattern where the relationship feels increasingly one-sided despite regular contact.
"The first wheel to fly off in a friendship is usually how they show up for you. Someone who never reaches out at all is easy to label a bad friend, because that level of one-sidedness is obvious. This is precisely why people often feel confused, or even guilty, when a friendship starts to feel toxic, even though interactions aren't totally one-sided. Your friend does reach out. You do talk regularly. There is interaction. So, what's the problem? What many fail to realize in these scenarios is that zero-sum interactions can hurt just as much as one-sided ones."
Read at Psychology Today
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