"Once, marriage was about survival. You joined forces to keep a roof over your head and food on the table. Over time, it became about companionship and love. Now we've upgraded to Marriage 3.0: the self-actualising partnership. It's no longer enough to be loved; your partner must also help you become your best self. One person is expected to be a financial partner, co-parent, lover and personal growth coach."
"As industrialisation and social change advanced, marriage shifted from being about shelter, security and shared labour. By the mid-20th century, expectations had changed decisively. Romance replaced obligation and duty. Novels began celebrating marriages of love and we began to pity and disparage those who married for money or status, or stayed together for convenience. In the decades following came therapy-culture, self-help, and the cult of personal growth, and with them the pendulum swung further, to Marriage 3.0."
Marriage evolved from survival-based cooperation to companionship and now to a self-actualising partnership that demands more than love. Partners are expected to provide financial support, co-parenting, sexual intimacy, and active personal growth coaching. Cultural shifts—industrialisation, romance idealisation, therapy culture, and self-help—raised expectations toward meaning and transformation within relationships. This 'all or nothing' standard requires partners to validate, reflect, and elevate each other, which can make expectations unrealistically high. Expecting a single flawed person to make another whole increases relationship risk. The happiest couples prioritize service and asking 'what can I do for you?' over scorekeeping.
Read at Psychology Today
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