"You get a coffee. The barista tells you how much you need to pay. You say thank you. They take your card for payment. They say thank you. They give you the coffee. You say thank you. They say thank you for your thank you. Then you say thank you for their thank you. By this point, the words thank you have lost all meaning, and both parties are exhausted by the pointless stream of politeness."
"Growing up in India, I learned that thank yous are only for distant strangers, and that close friends and family get offended if you thank them. I would say thank you to a speaker delivering a formal talk but never to a friend helping during a crisis or a family member making me dinner. I now find myself saying thank you at least 10 times a day."
"Nevertheless, there are some British thank yous that I would ban completely, if I could. The passive-aggressive thank you when you have forgotten to do something minor, such as holding a door open for someone. The word is usually lobbed at the back of your head as you walk through the door. It's loud and pointed and meant to shame you in public. It's the least genuinely thankful thank you in the world."
In India, thank yous are reserved for distant strangers; close friends and family can be offended by thanks. In the UK, saying thank you is frequent and often excessive, reaching ten or more times daily. Excessive politeness can strip the phrase of meaning and exhaust participants. Several British thank you variants convey negative social messages: the passive-aggressive 'thank you' shames after neglect, 'thanks in advance' presumes compliance from recipients, and clipped dismissive thanks signals that a contribution is unimportant. Corporate environments reinforce some insincere uses. Automatic reflexive thank yous occur in many everyday interactions, reducing gratitude to ritual.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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