"What has changed in recent years, Pettman argues, is the ease-and cruelty-with which people can enter and exit one another's lives. Today's version of ghosting, he writes, "is abandonment with a contemporary garnish"; a plethora of options for ignoring others have turned it into a "universal, even banal, experience." Or, as he puts it pithily, "when we came up with texting, we also came up with not texting.""
"I was curious to read Pettman's book, because I'd been thinking about the banality of ghosting-or, rather, how it can seem so commonplace as to be expected and, at the same time, be hurtful and infuriating. Culturally, ghosting is a paradox. It can be something you brush off even as it lives rent-free in your head. It's still considered rude, and people on both sides tend to feel bad about it, albeit in different ways."
Ghosting has ancient roots in experiences such as infants sensing maternal absence, abandoned pets, and friends being suddenly iced out. Contemporary communication technologies have increased the ease and cruelty with which people can enter and exit relationships. A range of ignored-contact options has transformed abandonment into a common, often banal, experience. Ghosting provokes a paradox: it can be casually dismissed yet linger mentally and cause hurt. Many people on both sides experience guilt or discomfort over ghosting. Surveys indicate very high prevalence, and online dating has amplified opportunities to form and drop connections. Social interactions still show ambivalence and avoidant etiquette around disappearances.
Read at The Atlantic
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