"We met for coffee a couple of times and then that relationship broke up, very dramatically, and it really wasn't long before we got back together. We got engaged, bought a house, got married within a year and got pregnant shortly afterwards. I don't regret anything, I've got three amazing children, but most normal people would possibly have just spent a bit more time together. I was swept up in it and I'm not going to suggest that I was a passive person."
"He asked could we focus on his career so he could achieve a high level. I would do the lion's share of the work looking after the children and then when the time was right, he would take over and I would have a couple of years to do what I wanted to do. That was the plan. I had a big job, but my career fell off a cliff. I was freelancing, in between looking after the kids and everything else."
"In the midst of all that, things were starting to get difficult and I don't want to lay all the blame at his door, but this is where I am. I just felt totally and utterly unsupported. He is focusing on his career; I'm in a melting pot of care. And I just assumed all of our problems and pressures were the results of this pressure-cooker life."
The woman entered a rapid rekindled relationship that led to engagement, marriage, and three children within a short time. The early years involved pregnancies, multiple miscarriages, chaotic exhaustion, and intense family demands. The couple agreed she would shoulder most childcare while he advanced his career, with the plan for later role adjustment. Her career declined into freelancing as caregiving intensified when her father required round-the-clock care for over five years. She felt unsupported while managing children and parent care, experiencing emotional and practical strain that contributed to marital difficulties and eventual separation.
Read at Irish Independent
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