The Dark Side of Phubbing

"It doesn't feel good to be snubbed. To be snubbed is to be rejected. It means being overlooked or dismissed. But there's a new kind of snubbing to worry about, a distinctly modern snub. It's called phubbing, and it means phone snubbing. I think we've all experienced that uncomfortable moment when we're midsentence and look up to see the person we were talking to engrossed in their phone. If we're honest, we've all probably been guilty of phubbing someone else."

"Researchers at the University of Southampton performed a study where almost 200 participants wrote in a journal for 10 days, documenting their phubbing experiences (Carnelley et al. 2025). The study was focused on determining how phubbing impacted anxiously attached people in their relationships and found that people with anxious attachment were more prone to depression, resentment, and lower self-esteem. Anxiously attached partners were also more prone to retaliate and seek validation elsewhere once phubbed."

A 10-day journal study of almost 200 participants recorded phubbing incidents and found anxiously attached individuals experienced increased depression, resentment, and diminished self-esteem. Anxiously attached partners also tended to retaliate or seek validation outside the relationship after being phubbed. Repeated ignoring of simple bids for connection — like questions, compliments, or physical gestures — weakens relational responsiveness and predicts poorer long-term outcomes. Reducing phubbing through explicit phone limits and by explaining why one is using a phone during interactions can help preserve connection and prevent the erosion of trust and mutual validation.

Read at Psychology Today