The best way to have a smooth holiday season is to understand what type of mother-in-law you have

"The Martyr: She gives, but often with strings attached. For example, she may offer to babysit, then complain. Dalgleish said it's important not to let guilt affect your boundaries. The Victim: She feels like life is "happening" to her and is powerless. Dalgleish warned not to be "pulled into this pattern of wanting to rescue them.""

"The Blamer: She criticizes and may try to control. Dalgleish said in order to avoid a power struggle, "focus inward on your chosen family." The Controller: She insists that there's a right way of doing things, such as cultural or religious norms. Dalgleish said it's important to "trust the decisions you're making.""

""The idea is not so much that we put people in boxes," she told Business Insider's Julia Pugachevsky. "It's so we can understand what behavior is showing up.""

Six common mother-in-law profiles shape in-law dynamics and call for different responses. The Martyr gives with strings attached and can induce guilt; boundaries are essential. The Victim feels powerless and invites rescuing; avoid taking on that role. The Blamer criticizes and seeks control; focus inward on chosen-family priorities to prevent power struggles. The Controller enforces a single right way tied to culture or religion; trust the couple’s decisions. The Distancer keeps distance to avoid overstepping. Spotting these behavior patterns helps set firm boundaries, improve communication, and protect the couple’s relationship before family gatherings.

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