"I have a client in her 40s who has just finalized her divorce from her husband. They had met at the soccer field where they both played adult league recreational soccer, and their friendship grew into a marriage proposal and then a union that lasted almost 20 years. She shared that the divorce was a mutual decision that wasn't based on hostility in the relationship, just the changes they'd experienced as they matured."
"In session, my client affirmed that the breakup of their marriage wasn't an issue for her, but she didn't want to lose the friendship she had with her ex. She wondered aloud if I thought this was a crazy notion, and I was quick to say that friendships with exes can work, and in fact, many couples explore friendships after divorce as a way to maintain meaningful connections while moving into a new post-divorce life stage."
Friendships with exes require clear boundaries and mutual readiness to avoid rekindled romance. Persistent romantic longing prevents a healthy friendship. Honesty and transparency with new partners are essential for maintaining trust. Prioritizing group or shared activities over one-on-one encounters helps redefine the relationship. Loneliness carries serious health risks comparable to heavy smoking, and modern adult schedules reduce time available for friendships. Preserving post-divorce connections can provide emotional support and stability while individuals transition into new life stages. Couples who successfully transition to friendship often maintain meaningful connection through shared interests while respecting changed dynamics.
Read at Psychology Today
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