"Adult and senior twins often experience an extension of the emotional separation problems they first encountered (non-verbally, and perhaps even crying) when they entered this world. Slowly, as they mature, twins learn to survive alone, with their twin being away from their side and sometimes even out of sight. While twins of all ages out of necessity have learned so many ways to cope without their twin's presence and their reactions, adulthood creates new twin issues with emotional and physical separation that can be intense and overwhelming."
"Facing new people and explaining who you are and what your interest is in meeting with them can very often create serious anxiety and feelings of not fitting in with non-twins. In my own experiences and my professional relationships with twins, the majority of twins are used to being understood without very much feedback or information from their co-twin. Feeling like a misfit with new acquaintances happens because of the easy access to misunderstandings."
"In other words, separated twins expect others to communicate like their co-twin. The basis of the twin relationship is sharing experiences, thoughts, and feelings. Understandably, twins easily "get" what their twin is trying to say. I can repeat countless examples of this phenomenon, which I will share with you now."
"I say to my twin Marjorie, "Mom had a bad shopping day." I don't have to say, "She will be in a terrible mood tonight," as this is understood. Or, "The new puppy jumped the fence and a stranger took her home with him while she was chasing a cat." I know that we both could repeat in unison, &qu"
Adult and senior twins can carry forward early emotional separation difficulties, including nonverbal distress, into later life. As they mature, they learn to cope with being apart, but adulthood can bring new separation anxiety when facing unfamiliar people and explaining personal identity and interests. Misunderstandings can feel easier to trigger because separated twins often expect others to communicate in the same way their co-twin does. Twins may feel misunderstood by non-twins due to unique communication patterns and limited feedback from their co-twin. Encouraging separate interests can help twins build individual social skills and reduce anxiety in new social settings.
Read at Psychology Today
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