"The purpose of this task was to help the pairs develop a close bond in a short period of time, by accelerating through the moments of connection that would otherwise naturally occur as a friendship or relationship develops. As the researchers wrote in their landmark 1997 academic article, "One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personalistic self‑ disclosure.""
"The 36 questions, actually developed many years prior as an experimental research tool by Arthur Aron and colleagues, are designed to accelerate close connection between two people. They start with "easy" ones, like Would you like to be famous? In what way? (#2), but lead inexorably to If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet? (#33)."
Researchers developed a set of 36 increasingly intimate questions to accelerate close connection by guiding pairs through sustained, reciprocal self-disclosure. The questions progress from light topics (e.g., 'Would you like to be famous?') to deeply personal prompts about mortality and regrets that foster intimacy. A popularized public experiment showed rapid emotional connection after using the questions. Similarly, relationship experts recommend structured conversations across important domains—finances, sex, meaning—to prompt honest exchange and mutual understanding. Both approaches rely on intentional, escalating disclosure and guided dialogue to create and strengthen emotional bonds between romantic partners.
Read at Big Think
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