Psychology says couples who've been happily married for 30+ years all stopped doing this one thing that most newlyweds think is essential - Silicon Canals

"Picture this: You're at your anniversary dinner, and the couple at the next table is finishing each other's sentences, ordering for one another, practically breathing in sync. They've been married for 35 years. Meanwhile, you and your partner of two years are still discovering new things about each other daily, sometimes arguing about the "right" way to load the dishwasher."

"When I first heard this, it challenged everything I thought I knew about relationships. Like most people, I'd always believed that the goal was complete understanding, total knowledge, becoming so intertwined that you could predict your partner's every move. Turns out, I had it backwards. The myth of knowing everything Dr. Esther Perel, renowned relationship therapist, puts it bluntly: "The grand illusion of committed love is that we think we know our partner." She argues that this assumption of complete knowledge actually kills desire and curiosity in long-term relationships."

Long-term relationship vitality depends on ongoing curiosity and preserving mystery rather than assuming complete knowledge of a partner. Many couples stop actively learning about each other and shift to assuming they already know one another, which reduces desire and curiosity. Early dating involves continual discovery of preferences, reactions, and humor. Treating a relationship as a project of cataloging facts replaces openness to change. Couples who maintain surprise and curiosity, and resist total familiarity, sustain emotional interest across decades. Assumption of complete knowledge undermines emotional novelty and diminishes mutual attraction.

Read at Silicon Canals