"There's no single solution here that works for all women. If "into BDSM" means that some part of that span of sexual practices is crucial to your fulfillment, this can absolutely be a tough and frustrating situation. In that case, you probably will have an easier time finding a partner who understands how important those practices are to you within the BDSM community, whether that's at clubs and meetups or through online dating platforms that cater to kinksters."
"For people who know nothing about the whole category of sexuality aside from having seen a short article about Fifty Shades of Grey, that leaves a whole lot of space for them to imagine the most challenging scenario. And for women who do have some experience in BDSM, any signals from you that you feel some conflict or shame about those desires telegraph that they're going to have to do some major emotional support for at least some period of time."
Approach dating as getting to know an individual rather than seeking someone to fill a role; sharing yourself should be mutual and not instrumental. If BDSM practices are central to sexual fulfillment, searching within BDSM communities or kink-friendly dating platforms improves odds of finding compatible partners. Expect some rejection due to mismatched kinks or other incompatibilities. Avoid presenting your proclivities vaguely; brief, non-detailed mentions allow fearful imagination to fill gaps. Show confidence and lack of shame about desires, since signaling conflict or need for extensive emotional caretaking can make partners wary. Clear, respectful communication and community-oriented searching balance authenticity and practical matchmaking.
Read at Slate Magazine
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