Nothing used to be off-limits when talking about sex. Now I'm in a long-term relationship, why is it taboo? | Natasha Sholl
Briefly

Nothing used to be off-limits when talking about sex. Now I'm in a long-term relationship, why is it taboo? | Natasha Sholl
"In my youth, when my friends and I first started dating people, nothing was off-limits when it came to talking about our sex lives. But now, after being married for 17 years, the closest I've come to discussing my sex life is with my obstetrician. Not hot. Sex talk isn't off-limits when we're with friends who are single, dating or in new relationships. So why is mentioning anything about sex in long-term relationships kind of cringe?"
"The same could be said when it comes to other areas of our lives. We talk about our parenting fails (numerous) and wins, dissect work dramas and family dynamics. We come from a place of zero judgment and the base assumption that they are an amazing (yet potentially flawed, as are we all) partner, parent, employee, employer, son or daughter. Nothing is off-limits. Except, apparently, sex."
People in youth openly discussed sex, but in long-term marriage sex talk stops. Friends are open about partners when single or in new relationships, but sexual topics in long-term relationships are considered cringe. Respecting boundaries or protecting partners does not fully explain the silence because friends routinely have deep, respectful conversations about partners without judgment. Friends freely discuss parenting fails and wins, work dramas, family dynamics and major life crises, including serious illness and reproductive losses, yet sex rarely comes up. Intimacy can persist amid crisis while sexual life remains conspicuously unshared.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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