My Younger Co-Workers Are Insufferable on Valentine's Day. I'm Considering a Drastic Move.

"Oh, how I empathize with you. It's not easy to be the older woman in the office, especially on Valentine's Day. But I am urging you not to raise this with HR. There is no world in which it does not get back to the rest of the office that you were the one who made this request, and it's going to cause unnecessary friction between you and your colleagues."

"First, you could take a page out of Cher Horowitz's book and send yourself flowers. Literally no one needs to know that they came from you, and they will make your cubicle feel special and more cheerful anyway. Also, if you feel weird about sending yourself flowers, try to do something else special for yourself. Maybe take an extra-long lunch, or get a manicure, or leave work early and see a movie."

"I get that it's hard to be surrounded by these displays of love (and youth!), but try to see it less as a referendum on yourself. You can't control what the younger women in your office receive for Valentine's Day, but you can control how you respond to it and how it makes you feel. So try to swallow your resentment and be kind to yourself. (But really, buy yourself the flowers.)"

A secretary in her late 50s feels excluded on Valentine's Day when younger female colleagues receive flowers and gifts while older women get nothing. The recommended action is not to report the displays to HR, because the complaint will become known and create workplace friction. Suggested coping strategies include buying oneself flowers anonymously, taking an extra-long lunch, getting a manicure, leaving work early to see a movie, or otherwise doing something special. The advice emphasizes controlling personal responses rather than others' behavior, reframing the displays so they are not a referendum on self, and practicing self-kindness instead of resentment.

Read at Slate Magazine