"As a result of multiple disabilities, my wife may never be able to have sex with me again, or at least not for a long time. She always had a low libido, but recent developments have made sex actively difficult and unpleasant for her. I love my wife and do not wish to divorce her, but this presents a problem for me, because I have a very active libido."
"We have considered and attempted polyamory, but I have a very demanding job and also provide significant care for her-I simply do not have the time or energy to cultivate a new romantic relationship while providing my wife with the attention and care she deserves. She and I have discussed the idea of me seeing a professional, and we are both on board (frankly, it seems the idea excites her a bit, though she does not want to participate)."
"What I'd really like is to develop a "relationship" with a provider-not like a romantic relationship, but like a doctor/patient type relationship, where I have a single person I go to regularly for "the usual" so I don't have to vet strangers repeatedly. I wouldn't expect to have any kind of non-professional relationship with this person, but it would be nice to have a regular sex worker in the same way as having a regular barber, dentist,"
Multiple disabilities have made sexual activity difficult and unpleasant for a spouse with a historically low libido, leaving the partner with a high desire for sex. The couple rejects divorce and tried polyamory, but caregiving duties and a demanding job make pursuing new relationships impractical. Both partners have discussed hiring a professional; the husband wants a consistent, single provider he can visit regularly for "the usual," strictly professional and non-romantic. Many service providers, including erotic-service workers, often welcome regular clients and can provide ongoing, professional sexual services under agreed boundaries. The writer asks how to find such a provider and what the practice is called.
Read at Slate Magazine
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