"My girlfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship. When we were living together, we would have sex maybe once every six to eight weeks, which was frequent for me and infrequent for her due to different sex drives. Now that we're apart, and I only see her once every couple of months, something she used to do sometimes is now something she does almost every time I see her."
"She will ask to make out, and then when we've been making out for several minutes, tell me that she's horny now. The thing is, 90 percent of the time, I would be fine with having sex if she just asked from the beginning. But I don't really like being baited and switched. I do go along with it most of the time, but it feels like such a teenage boy move that I'm always a little bit put off."
"I've mentioned that I would prefer to just be asked from the start, but I really do think this is an organic thing from her-she's not trying to manipulate me, she is just informing me that she wants to have sex now. I know she wouldn't be upset if we didn't, I just feel responsible to follow through with what we started."
A person in a long-distance relationship reports that when cohabiting they had sex every six to eight weeks, reflecting mismatched drives. After separating, the partner often initiates making out and then announces that she is horny, a pattern that now occurs almost every visit. The writer usually consents but feels baited and switched and prefers being asked directly from the start. The partner's behavior appears spontaneous rather than manipulative. The core issue is a clash between spontaneity and planned communication, suggesting reflection on the origin of the resentment and clearer negotiation of sexual preferences and boundaries.
Read at Slate Magazine
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