One partner brought a third person home without consulting the other, presenting the encounter as a "surprise." The other partner consented to sex but felt thoughtless and considered retaliation. The recommended response is to have a direct conversation about boundaries and prior consultation for future encounters. If the experience was unenjoyable, that should be raised; if enjoyable, consider whether to embrace consensual shared experiences rather than punish. Retaliatory surprise encounters escalate conflict and risk treating the third person as a pawn. Prioritize clear communication, mutual consent, and respect for all parties when negotiating threesomes.
You're asking if you should punish your husband for what? Bringing a hot guy home? Please. I agree with you that he should have asked you first, but he didn't and you tacitly forgave that by having sex. If the experience was nevertheless unenjoyable or even if the shock of the proposition outshined the actual sex, a conversation is in order. Just ask him to talk about it with you first, explaining that this is not the type of surprise that you find fun.
But if the sex was really good and you're miffed purely on principle, I'm going to urge you to try to center yourself in the realm of the practical. You could look at this as a new era in your relationship: your thirds era. Your husband's method was a bit sloppy but you had fun anyway, and now there is more of that kind of fun that you can have.
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