"My husband and I have been together for 20 years. He's 55 and I'm 40. We have sex twice a month if we're lucky, and normally, I'm the one to start it. He almost always requests the same thing. He requests a blow job. But he never reciprocates. Never. If I don't, he will sometimes refuse to have sex. He hasn't done any type of stimulation in years-oral, digital, or otherwise."
"I would rebuff his request for head and present him with a request of your own: an explanation for why he won't reciprocate on you. If he won't give you oral, the least he can give you is an answer. He may have reasons for declining with which you can empathize, and he's definitely not obligated to engage in any sexual behavior."
A 40-year-old partner reports a 20-year relationship with infrequent sex and that her 55-year-old husband almost always requests oral sex but never reciprocates. He sometimes withholds intercourse if she refuses and has not provided oral, digital, or other stimulation in years. She has tried lingerie, romantic evenings, and maintains grooming and fitness, yet has not orgasmed in years. The recommended response is to rebuff his request for oral until he explains why he will not reciprocate, acknowledge his right to decline, and require that he tend to her emotional and sexual well-being by answering directly.
Read at Slate Magazine
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