"He is a Catholic priest! He says he has been having doubts about whether the choice was the right one for him and has said that he would be willing to give it up if it means we can have a future together. I don't know what to think. I'm furious he kept this from me, but at the same time I can't help but be touched that he would be willing to sacrifice so much just to be with me. What is the right decision here?"
"He didn't want you to judge him for his work (and obvious deviation from its strictures) before getting to know him. And wouldn't you know? He had a point. In confessing his vocation, he essentially came out to you. This is a very particular case, so forgiving his deception may be appropriate. Lying (by omission?) about this one specific thing doesn't necessarily indicate that he will lie about other things."
An individual has been dating a man for seven months who revealed he is a Catholic priest contemplating leaving the priesthood to pursue a future together. The relationship had warmth, attraction, and satisfying sex before the revelation. The partner omitted his vocation initially to avoid being judged for his work and deviation from its strictures, then confessed it. Forgiving that omission may be appropriate because the motive was to be known first and because that specific deception does not definitively predict general dishonesty. The situation is complicated by how early the relationship is and by the magnitude of the potential sacrifice.
Read at Slate Magazine
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