My favourite family photo: It's a snapshot of our goofy bond'

"It was his aside that spoiled the secret identity of Santa Claus; he who laughingly revealed the mechanics of sex; he who gave me my first sip of beer. Yet, when he found out I was sneaking cigarettes from my dad's stale dinner party supply, he chastised me before either of my parents could, and when my mum was diagnosed with cancer and I was just 15, he was already a 22-year-old medical student."

"Ever since my mum died in 2013, family photos have been a source of bittersweet pain. In the pictures where she is present, I'm reminded of her wide smile, appetite for fun and her loving presence. In the images without her, all I see is her absence the mum-shaped silhouette where she should be, either because she was outside the frame or because she was no longer alive."

The narrator's only sibling is seven years older and serves as both a co-conspirator and a protective, knowledgeable surrogate parent. The brother reveals childhood secrets, enables small rebellions, and also enforces boundaries. When the narrator's mother is diagnosed with cancer at the narrator's age fifteen, the brother, then a 22-year-old medical student, advocates for her care and uses medical shorthand while the father and narrator flounder. After the mother dies in 2013, family photographs become sources of bittersweet pain, alternately recalling her presence or highlighting her absence. One photograph of the siblings with a bootleg Cindy Crawford calendar captures enduring goofy affection and inclusion.

Read at www.theguardian.com