"She made eye contact, said nothing, and then went to the next person. This colleague had been dismissive to me in individual interactions because a client had been assigned to my caseload instead of theirs, partially because they had become too close, personally, to the client. I wasn't upset that I wasn't invited to her party; the blatant disrespect of excluding me in a public setting was what upset me."
"Ew. I'm glad you've moved on! This feels like one of those situations where someone thinks they're making a big dramatic statement that will make everyone wonder what the other person did wrong, but in fact it just makes them look bad. (See also: any essays about toxic mom groups.) I think you handled this perfectly. You were right not to get into it in the moment, and the less said about it afterward, the better."
A colleague shifted a team meeting discussion to invite coworkers to her graduation and deliberately skipped one person while making eye contact. The excluded individual felt public disrespect, noting prior dismissive behavior tied to a disputed client assignment and the colleague's personal closeness to that client. The excluded person did not confront the colleague during the meeting and later left the job. Coworkers asked about the incident afterward. Not escalating in the moment and saying little afterward preserves dignity. Leaving the job can be a favorable outcome for the excluded person.
Read at Slate Magazine
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