"I get that you're not worried about money, but even beyond the principle, consider the time and ick factor. It's not about punishing him for his behavior. We're talking natural consequences-drunk or not, if you destroy someone's furniture, you should probably offer to fix the problem. Unfortunately, he might not even recall peeing on your couch (a phrase I never expected to write in a money column, but here we are) so the responsibility is on you and your wife to bring it up."
"If your wife doesn't want to embarrass her brother, fine. Offer to have the conversation yourself, and assure her you'll handle it diplomatically. You can even come to an agreement on the wording. To offer a suggestion: "Hey dude, you had a little too much fun the other night and had a wee bit of an accident on our couch. It happens, but it's going to cost us a pretty penny to clean it." If it's easier, bring it up over text or email."
Ask the brother-in-law to pay for professional cleaning of the urine-stained couch. Emphasize that the request concerns natural consequences, the time and ick factor, and not punishment. Note that an intoxicated guest may not recall causing the damage, so the responsibility to raise the issue lies with the hosts. Offer to have the conversation yourself if the wife refuses to confront her brother, and agree on diplomatic wording beforehand. Suggest a candid but polite phrasing or use text or email if that’s easier. Insist on reimbursement because damaging someone’s furniture merits repair and replacement.
Read at Slate Magazine
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