"From what you describe, this seems like a very outsized reaction. Is this behavior out of character for your wife? If so, I'd question whether there's something deeper going on, with her emotions or her brain. In that case, you might enlist the help of family members or her medical team to evaluate whether she needs to see some type of specialist and figure out how to make that happen."
"But let's say your wife shows absolutely no other signs of personality or cognitive changes, and she's never behaved like this before. Find a way to get her in front of the doctors you're working with on your erectile dysfunction. Ask the doctors, beforehand, whether they're willing and able to help make your situation clear to her. Try to get her to see herself as collaborating with you on finding a way to mitigate the circumstances."
"If her reaction is fairly par for the course, know that you don't have to stay in the relationship. If you do want to stay married, it's probably useful to consider any ways you've previously navigated similar scenarios. If you can get through to her, and she's able to soften her stance, start working to understand what's most important about penetrative sex for her and how the two of you can scratch that itch without you having an erection."
Assess whether the partner's reaction is out of character and consider evaluation for emotional or cognitive issues with family or medical professionals if it is. If the partner's behavior fits a pattern, recognize that ending the relationship is an option. If choosing to stay, draw on previous strategies for handling difficult situations. Arrange for the partner to meet the treating doctors and ask clinicians to explain the medical basis of erectile dysfunction to her. Frame the partner as a collaborator in finding solutions, and identify non‑penetrative ways to meet sexual needs while managing the condition.
Read at Slate Magazine
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]